Elephant Jokes

Today I have a real treat for you - pictures of actual fiber! I haven't been showing off a lot of new projects for the past couple of weeks, because I've been working so diligently on this:
This is "Faux Cashmere" from ParadiseFibers.net. I dyed it myself with Country Classics dye, also from ParadiseFibers.net. It is very soft, very easy to spin, and little strands of it adhere to the inside of your nostrils like you wouldn't believe.
It is very beautiful and silky smooth. I have no freaking clue what I'm going to knit with it. Any suggestions? I'll have 3 skeins of 300 yards each. That's a lot but not enough, I suspect, for a short sleeved tee, which was my original hope. I even had the perfect pattern queued for it on Ravelry. Here's a conversation I have been having with my mom (whom you'll recognize in the comments as MickieMcDog) about it:
Mom: I think you really should knit a T-SHIRT with it.
Me: I had a pattern picked out that would have been perfect, but I don't think I'll end up with enough yarn for that.
Mom: I think you'd be happy with a T-SHIRT out of it.
Me: I don't think I'll end up with enough yarn for that.
Mom: You need to make a T-SHIRT with it. Wouldn't that be WONDERFUL?
Me: Yes, but I don't have enough yarn for that.
Mom: Ohhhhh, I think a TEEEEEEEE SHIRT.
Me: See, I have a lot of yarn, but it is only 900 yards, and fingering weight, so it would take me 3,000 years to knit it and then I'd run out of yarn.
Mom: [and so on]......

Dug told me I need to show the process of predrafting Nuclear Pumpkin, and I suppose he is right.
I have been taking strips of the roving, dividing them up lengthwise, trying desperately to spell "lengthwise" correctly as I type, spreading the fibers out and gently pulling on them to make the spinning process much faster and easier on my hands. When I dye fiber myself it does tend to felt together just a wee bit, so putting all this prep time in at the beginning really helps. It's all worth it, because look at the pretty colors! It is not simply my Madd Camera Skilz making the oranges and blues glow like that; "Nuclear Pumpkin" really is a fantastic name for it. I absolutely cannot wait to start spinning it! Sadly, patience is needed here. I have bobbins of Various Crap to complete so that I can free them up for this project (which will make the "epic" Blugly sweater seem like instant gratification), and tonight I am going to ply the last of the Faux Cashmere. (Oh, and work on knitting Blugly. Yeah, whatever.)

[missing segue alert] When I was about four years old, my mom gave me a book of Elephant Jokes. It was, and still is, my favorite book. I have carried the wisdom that I gleaned from its pages, at the tender age of four, with me throughout my life. So, I would like to end our post today with a gift of profound insight for you all:

One of these things is gray and weighs two tons. The other one is an elephant.