About 2008

Good Things Which Took Place During The Year 2008:

1. I got a spinning wheel.

2. I knitted a bunch of crap, including this scarf, which is finally finished, and which I adore:

Yes, yes I am wearing it indoors, with my jammies, while I am using the computer. I can do what I want.

I was about to make a list of Not So Good Things That Happened In 2008 and wallow in the misery of mortality and...bah. Can't do it. I'm ending this year with a smile on my face.

My not-so-good thing of 2008 has been my mom having cancer. How downtrodden can I justifiably be, though? After all, she's living to see the new year. Despite being in hospice care, she's vibrantly alive, staying in my home, hasn't been sick or in a lot of pain, has already beaten the odds she was given and she's cheerfully suggesting, "Update your blog, you miserable little bitch!" Sure thing, mom!

I guess I should be adding "mom kicking cancer's ass" to the top of the list of good things that happened in 2008.

Nevertheless, Angus is still getting drunk tonight:

And Stuff

I haven't been blogging because I've been busy and stuff, but I haven't altogether stopped knitting. I found the perfect pattern for my red goatstuff yarn - "Delphinium" by Julie Sprague - and special-ordered beads for it and everything. I had never knitted anything with beads before, and at first I thought it would be a pain in the ass, but I LOVE putting the beads on. In this pattern, instead of stringing the beads onto the yarn ahead of time, you just slip them on over the designated knitted stitch as you go.

Here is a crappy picture of the unblocked/unfinished scarf and my thingie of beads:
Here is a crappy close-up picture of the unfinished scarf: I even had to make a little tool out of a straight pin in order to hook the beads onto the loops of yarn. I'm like MacGyver!

AllieHat

Since it's quite clear that we're going with the fabulous name Malicious Salad for my new fiber, I thought Jocelyn deserved a prize, so I knitted up this hat ("An Unoriginal Hat" by Stephanie Pearl McPhee) for her daughter, Allison. Jocelyn even gave me props on her family blog, so I am pleased and proud that her prize was met with approval! She also took this photo, which I happily stole from her:

Check out Jocelyn's blog for a picture of Allie actually wearing it. Cuteness!

I am thinking of making this same hat for Dug's cousin Jodee for Xmas. Normally, I am violently opposed to holiday-gift-knitting because I end up not being able to fulfill all of my promises...but I will do anything for Jodee. I frequently tell Dug that if he should ever leave me, I get to keep Jodee. He thinks her parents would have something to say about this, but I'm sure we can work out a deal.

Bitter Irony and a Confession

Those of you who know me find yourselves rolling your eyes in exasperation every time you ask me, "Have you seen [this show]?" and then remember that no, of course not - if it is a show, featured on a television, I have not seen it. On the rare occasions that television and I have crossed paths, it's because it was on at someone else's house while I was visiting. Even as a child, I watched television if someone else happened to be watching it, but the idea of having to sit down in front of the TV at a certain time every week to watch a certain show freaked me out. I never wanted to be held hostage by a flashy talking box. It's not the quality or content of TV programming that bothers me; I know there's lots of good stuff to see that I am missing out on. It's just the scheduling, the commitment, the obligation that bothers me. Times have changed, of course; there's TIVO and stuff...but that kind of television-watching technology, again, takes commitment.

This aside, I have to admit that the whole reason I ever picked up knitting needles was television. It was after college, my dad was sick, I was keeping him company...in front of the television. Day after day, hour after hour, we watched the Discovery channel at a volume so high it made the walls shake. It was torture. TORTURE. Then, one fateful day as I was cleaning up around my mom's house, I found some ancient, magenta, plastic Boye knitting needles and came to a crossroads: I could use those needles to gouge my eyes and eardrums out so that I would not have to experience the television anymore, OR I could use them to keep my hands busy. I had always wanted to learn to knit, so the more constructive option won.

That's not the real confession, though - it gets worse. I got a spinning wheel, right? Well, it's really hard to spin for hours at a time with nothing else going on around me. I mean, spinning is delightful and fascinating...but it's pretty repetitive. It's a great tool for meditation in that respect; it's so nice to sit down at the wheel and think through all the stuff in your life that needs thinking through. I'm about as deep as my coffee mug, though, so after about five minutes of that crap, I'm ready to put a movie on.

Cable is still useless to me; I hate remote controls and having to be in the right place at the right time to see what I want to see...but Netflix, oh Netflix. I can plop my wheel down in front of the computer and "Watch Instantly" anything I want online and pay attention to it in a very half-assed way as I enjoy spinning. That's just the irony part, though. The confession is this:

I've been watching TV shows on Netflix. It started with Doctor Who, because my friends like it, but now it's spreading to other things, stuff that people have been watching for ages, but I'm only just discovering. 30 Rock, Heroes, Dexter. (I am NOT "just like Dexter", people. Stop saying that. He's a MAN, for goodness' sake.)

I'm not sorry, though; I get a boatload of knitting and spinning done, and I don't have to be monogamous to a television-machine this way.

(You guys want to suggest any good television shows I should catch up on? First person to say "Lost" gets slapped.)

Words of Wisdom

In response to my sweater hang-up, Jennifer points out, "I wouldn't trust a knitter who got it right on the first try."

YEAH. That's right. That's exactly right.

Pride and Punishment

Austen and Dostoevsky should have collaborated, or at least dated. But, no - the internet tells me that Jane died at the tender age of 42, just three years before little Fyodor was born. No dating for them. ANYWAY, back to the topic - my own downfall, my Pride and my Punishment.

PRIDE: After I blocked Nuclear Pumpkin, it was fantastic. It fit me perfectly. On Saturday, I wrote the previous blog post in which I bragged and bragged and boasted on and on about my greatness, and then I wore the sweater Saturday night and basked in the admiration of my friends. I wore it to work yesterday and bragged and boasted and showed off and then...and then...Nuclear Pumpkin started doing Something Weird. The springy wool started contracting. It started getting shorter and shorter...until it was FAR shorter than it was BEFORE I'd blocked it. By the end of the day, it was sticking out around my body like an orange flying saucer. I should have anticipated this, because as I was knitting it, I could see that the wool wanted to contract in length. I figured blocking would fix it, because it wasn't pulling in all that much. I did not anticipate that it would just shrink, right on my body, while I was wearing it. Lesson Learned, for the 135th time: Wool is Strange Stuff.

(Oddly enough, it didn't shrink horizontally. In fact, it got bigger. I guess that's why Blugly's blocking worked out so well; I just wanted to expand the ribbing horizontally, while the length was already perfect.)

PUNISHMENT: None of this is as catastrophic as it might sound; I'm just going to rip out part of the sweater from the bottom up to where the decreases end, knit back down without increasing, add a little length and redo the hem, which I wanted to redo anyway. The hardest/slowest part will be ripping it out...and I may have already done that part last night before my family could stop me.

Nuclear Pumpkin: Not A Disaster

Today I unpinned Nuclear Pumpkin from the blocking board. (Mostly because I was sick of it being in my way, more than because it was dry.) Dug helped me unpin it, and then came the moment of truth.Not only does the Nuclear Pumpkin Sweater fit me, my friends...it fits me and DOES NOT SUCK. I won't claim that it represents good taste or great fashion, because I don't have a clue about that kind of stuff, but it is soft and comfy. The bottom hem - the most worrisome element - fits me at the right place. The sleeves are the right length and they don't mind being shoved up to my elbows. The hem around the neckline, which you can't see very well in these pictures, and with which I experimented a great deal, turned out fan-freakin-tastic. There is just the right amount of length in the armholes, enough so that I could wear a t-shirt underneath, but not so much that the sleeves could function as a hang-glider. Oh yeah - and the side shaping that I spontaneously put in to account for the fact that my hips are six times wider than my waist? It worked out so well that it's eerie. I LOVE this sweater.

Here are my boobs.

Here I am, revelling in the perfect fit of my sweater, and wondering why I don't have lips anymore. (Perhaps they've migrated north, to my nose?)

Again, I feel the need to point out that when I finished this sweater, the bottom hem fell in the middle of my tummy, the sleeves were tight and weird, and the armholes wanted to sit on the tops of my shoulders. I owe the success of this sweater not to my mad knitting skillz (I am a terrible knitter - really) but to the miracle of BLOCKING.

Maybe someday I shall post photos and a play-by-play description of one of my earlier sweaters which fell to disaster, all because I scoffed at the concept of blocking. It is humiliating to me, but perhaps it may save other New Knitters out there from the same despair.

I know people will ask, and the answer is YES, Dug did have to talk me into changing out of my Dr. Pepper pants before modelling my sweater in the front yard.

The Great Pumpkin

I had this wacky idea that I would finish my Nuclear Pumpkin sweater before the weather turned cold. Then, as the sweater progressed, I increased the challenge and told myself I'd finish it the week of my birthday (partly as a present to myself, mostly to free up time for holiday gift knitting).

Well...I totally did it! I finished it yesterday, with ONE YARD OF YARN to go on the skein I was using (although I do have one more skein left and tons more to spin). I wove in all the ends and sewed up the armpits (badly). I tried it on and it fit ODDLY, but one thing I have learned the hard way about wool garments is that you have to Block The Holy Living Crap Out Of Them to get them to hold their intended shape.

So, I soaked it in wool-friendly soap in my washing machine (no agitation; just soaking), and then I spin-cycled it, and then I soaked it again in clear water, and then I spin-cycled it again. Then, while the wool was damp and malleable, I got out my blocking board (read: large piece of sturdy foam insulation board - Maxim's brilliant idea), laid the wet sweater-blob on it and forced it into approximately the shape of...well, me...and mercilessly pinned it into place. It's just like stretching a canvas, except the canvas is made of sweater.

Let us all cross our fingers that, by the time it is dry, it will fit perfectly. Or at least not badly. Note to sweater owners: you can block store-bought wool or wool-blend sweaters if they are misbehaving. Say you have a hem that curls up or ribbing that pulls in too much or maybe it's just a little too tight in the hips. A good, vicious blocking might fix it.

I have come to terms with the fact that I am obviously a "process knitter" vs a "product knitter". As soon as all the lose ends of yarn were woven in, I wanted to shove my new sweater in a drawer and start on the next thing. It took a great force of willpower for me to block and pin it and THEN start on the next thing.

I will take pictures when the sweater is dry and I can model it properly. Unless it looks like hell, in which case we will never speak of it again.

No, REALLY...

Today, as the fate of our nation is decided, as great decisions are made, as people give grave consideration to the power of their votes, another debate rages on. It is, perhaps, less important than the U.S. Presidential Election occurring at this very moment. It might even be labeled "trivial," or, indeed, "very silly". But it is a debate, nonetheless, and one that I must personally face every day of my life.

Let me give you a transcript of this debate, which occurs, as I mentioned, every single freaking day.

JENNIFER: We should go to Yarn Barn and get you more fiber.
ME: Oh dear, no, I'm not going to buy any more fiber until I use up everything that I already have.
JENNIFER: You always need more fiber. You have to have a stash.
ME: Oh dear, no, I'm not going to buy any more fiber until I use up everything that I already have.
JENNIFER: You need more fiber to spin.
ME: Oh dear, no, I'm not going to buy any more fiber until I use up everything that I already have.
JENNIFER: I guess I won't get you anything fiber related for Christmas then.
ME: You could get me a Majacraft Suzie Alpaca spinning wheel. It is only $850.
JENNIFER: No, you can't have anything fiber related until you use up everything you have.
ME: But a spinning wheel is a tool to use that stuff up, and I want a second wheel.
JENNIFER: You are a greedy bitch. Also, my cat died so I had to bury him in the back yard this morning.
ME: Sad - I just tried to make an eCard for you but it wouldn't let me finish it without logging in and sending them samples of my DNA and promising them my first born child. The card I was making had some trees and a giant lemon, and the lemon said, "SO SORRY" and then in big scrolling fancy curly text below, the letters popped up, "YOUR CAT IS DEAD", and then underneath I would have typed, "At least you buried him instead of setting him on fire in the middle of your front yard, like my dad did one time."

(Okay, this debate happens daily EXCEPT for the dead cat part. That part was extra.)

I'm going to win this debate once and for all.

First, I have the still unfinished Nuclear Pumpkin sweater. I am not sure about the fit right now; I'm a wee bit concerned that I may have to rip it back. Also, I am not even done spinning all the fiber from this project. I think I have enough to finish knitting the sweater, but there's still more NP fiber. Lots more. I may put the extra up on Etsy to see if I can make a buck.


Next I have the scarf that Jennifer and I each knit as a "Knit Along" sort of thing, and she started and finished hers in like a WEEK, and I've been pattering along on mine for two months. I'll admit that I love the yarn so much that I'm kind of savoring the scarf, though, knitting just a little bit at a time.

Then I have various quantities of fiber projects waiting to be started. I have about a pound of Mauch Chunky roving in two shades of blue. I have about a pound of alpaca fiber that I bought at that Apples and Alpacas farm. I have some flax that I bought at Settler's Farm in Wamego, KS this past Saturday. (A small amount, though; just enough to learn with.) I have some beautiful topaz bamboo roving that Jennifer got me as a present, about 4 oz.
Then I have sock yarn. I have the Patons Kroy sock yarn that I will not start knitting until I am done with all the other crap I'm knitting (shut UP, that is a SWATCH in the photo, not knitting), some Red Heart stuff in NP-ish colors that Jennifer bought me, some yellow Tofutsies...and not pictured, I have a drawer filled with 6,000 other skeins of sock yarn waiting for my attention.
Then I have spinning projects that have been started and not yet finished; the red goatstuff, and Louet brand Karaoke fiber (half merino, half soysilk) in the "Mermaid" colorway.

Then I have this...this TWO POUNDS of fiber that I dyed a couple of weekends ago. It is dyed in one long strip, going from orangey-yellow to mottled greens to chestnut (which broke into deep purples in most places - it looks more brown in the picture, but pretend you're seeing some purples in there, too). It is dry now, and beckoning to me. The photo below shows one of two matching rovings that I dyed. I have not named this fiber yet. Any suggestions? Dug wants to name it Fraggle, but it doesn't look like a Fraggle to me. (Well, maybe Whimbley.) Scott, this is your chance to get me back for "Moopsy Weaselsnard".

Anyway, can we all agree that at this point, I have QUITE ENOUGH fiber? Come on people, back me up here.

Row Counters (or Random Blog Filler)

One astute reader asked me, "Would knitting needles with some sort of counter in them be useful? Seems like you have to count up shit a lot."

Actually, there is an abundance of many kinds of row counters. See this link: http://www.yarn-store.com/row-counters.html

As you can see, there are "kacha kacha" row counters (called that because of the pleasant clicking noise they make when you push the button down), electronic row counters, and little cylinder row counters that fit on to your knitting needles so you just change the count when you reach the counter on your needle.

Recently, someone even wrote an iphone row counter application.

I have the cylinder ones but normally just use the kacha-kacha one (I have the red one). For most things, I don't have to count or perhaps the pattern of the knitting stitches (like some of the socks I've done) marks where I'm at well enough. Or sometimes I just jot it down on paper.

For situations in which you need to know where in the row to do a decrease, increase or special pattern stitch, you just place a marker on your needles - a store-bought marker made for that purpose, a loop of contrasting yarn, or a safety pin will do. Pretty low tech. I have some plastic stitch markers that clasp and unclasp so you can move them around, but safety pins work just as well.

Maybe I've told you guys this story before, but one time I was knitting something that required careful row counting, and I was using my red Clover "kacha-kacha" row counter. I left off for the evening, slept, went to work, came home, resumed knitting, checked my counter and saw that I was on row 57. This was odd, because I remembered specifically that I'd clicked it to row 8 the night before, and I was pretty sure I hadn't done an additional 49 rows of knitting without my knowledge. I turned to Dug and asked, "Did you click my row counter?" "Yes!" he said triumphantly. "I wanted to play with it!" So a word of advice to female knitters - if there are men in your house, maybe stick with the cylinder row-counters or notebook paper.

Still knitting...

Yesterday I woke up at 7:00. I had some breakfast, made some tea, and started knitting. Determined that I will have my NP sweater ready to wear this Saturday (because Jennifer and I are going on a road trip to a fiber store in the middle of nowhere, and I want to show off), I had already finished the second sleeve and joined both sleeves to the body. I knew I was in for it yesterday, because with the sleeves joined I had 434 stitches on the needle. I had to knit at least 5 rounds of 434 stitches before starting the raglan shoulder decreases. It makes me dizzy just thinking about it.

I knit from 7:30 yesterday morning, non-stop until - I am not kidding - 9:30 last night. (Okay, I took a couple of breaks for food and laundry, but they were really, really short breaks.) I can't remember exactly how many rows of knitting I completed during this marathon...but I think it's around TWELVE, averaging about 1 row per hour.

On the bright side, the very slowest-going rows of the sweater are complete, and I'm well into the decreases now, so the rest of the shoulders should go pretty quick. I could still make it by Saturday! Unless, of course, I finish the sweater and it looks like ass, and I have to rip it all out and start over. It could happen.

On the less bright side, Dug and I had rented Doctor Who from Netflix and were planning on watching the rest of one of the disks tonight...but in my befuddlement this morning I accidentally packaged up and mailed that disk along with some others we were sending back. Whoopsie. Hopefully Dug won't kill me too much, because I'd really like to finish this godforsaken sweater before I die.

On another bright side, however, those of you who are Dusty will be pleased to note that a certain project has been started, and will hopefully be complete by this weekend! :) I just have a button band and two little sleeves to finish up!

Drive-By Gifting

I fell victim to a drive-by gifting yesterday afternoon, but fortunately I lived to tell the tale. I was in my front yard, pushing the lawnmower along the edge of the street, when suddenly a silver car squealed up behind me. Windy and Joe flung themselves out of the running car before I even turned the mower off. They catapulted themselves at me, hugged all the air out of my lungs, shoved something into my hands, and then, engine roaring and tires squealing, they were gone as quickly as they had arrived, leaving me scratching my head and, yes...giggling.

I looked down at my hands and discovered that I was holding a brand new pair of neon green Knit Lite knitting needles.

You know, so you can knit in the dark! Hilarious!! And useful!

(Thanks, Windy and Joe! YAY!)

Guest Yarn: Show-and-Tell

I haven't been updating because there's nothing new - I've just been quietly knitting along on my Nuclear Pumpkin sweater. It's coming along nicely, though! I'll admit that the bottom hem is not perfect but a number of people threatened me with death if I ripped it out again, claiming that "it gives them a heart attack." Fine. (Probably I should not have even put that word "again" in there, because they didn't know about the first two times I redid it. Ahem.)

Anyway, since Jennifer is very busy and shy about starting a blog of her own, I thought I'd feature some of the stuff she's been up to! Jennifer, too, has been spinning her own yarn, using a Schacht spindle (At least I think it's a Schacht; it was actually mine once-upon-a-time, but Jennifer commandeered it when I got my wheel.)

First we have a yarn that Jennifer dyed herself. This picture is not remotely color accurate; the colors are pastels and they are more vibrant and varied. Jennifer called this "Happy Accident" yarn because it didn't come out the way she intended when she dyed it, but she was really pleased with the results of the finished yarn. I believe she was even thinking about entering this yarn in some sort of "Alice In Wonderland" contest, which I thought was perfect - in real life, these colors look like something out of the Mad Hatter's tea party.
When I interview Jen about "Happy Accident", she said, "The wool is a bit rougher than I wanted, but it worked out fine for a hat that I knitted, which looks like a big gum drop. That dye job was the first time I used food coloring and the colors didn't come out right. I was wanting dark colors (greens, yellows & browns); nope, none of that!"

The next yarn, I believe, was Jen's first attempt at spindle-spinning, using a commercial carded batt. Her FIRST ATTEMPT. Does anyone remember my first attempt at spindle spinning? Yeah, it was scary. But of course JENNIFER comes up with a nice, even, perfectly serviceable, soft skein of gorgeous green-blue yarn. How is that fair?

Next we have a bulky weight heathery-purple yarn that Jennifer spun from Mauch Chunky roving. I love the twist she puts into her yarns; it looks so professional!
Jennifer actually got me some of this roving, too, in two different colors. (You can see them by clicking on the link above; mine are Blueberry Ice and Huckleberry and I'm going to combine them when I spin it.)

I think Jennifer is getting closer and closer to adopting a wheel of her own. I cannot wait! She has her eye on a Fricke wheel that's already equipped with a WooLee Winder at a very good price. (I am going to be so jealous of her, but that's okay; I will just find excuses to "help" her with her spinning.)

DRAT.

I've been floundering over whether to (A) save my money for a second wheel or (B) just pimp out my Kiwi to increase its functionality. I was going to get a WooLee Winder flyer for it. This is a special flyer made by an independent manufacturer, and they make versions for pretty much every spinning wheel on the market. The advantage of this item is that as the yarn winds onto the bobbin, the WooLee Winder automatically moves the yarn up and down the bobbin so that it winds on evenly - whereas normally you'd have to do this manually; stopping the spinning to quickly move the yarn to a new spot on flyer.

Wait, not explaining this very well for my non-spinning friends. Okay, here's a picture of my Kiwi, stolen from the internet. The part with the yarn-filled bobbin fitted into it is called the Flyer, and you can see hooks running along that top arm of the Flyer. The yarn is held with those hooks as you are spinning, and very often you have to stop spinning and move the yarn to a different hook so that the bobbin will fill up evenly. This is not a big deal, but being able to spin without stopping would be really, really nice.

I was all excited because my mom was TOTALLY GOING TO BUY IT FOR ME for my birthday. Except, I was certain that I had read that a WooLee Winder would cost $100, and that is all. But it turns out that it costs $185...AND with my particular wheel you can't use the existing bobbins; you have to use the ones designed for this Winder...AND those bobbins cost $31/each. So I added up the Winder and the extra bobbins and the shipping and it came out to $418. Which is a quite a different number from my originally budgeted $100. This is not to say that the WooLee Winder is not an amazing product and that the price is not appropriate - I'm sure it is - but I just can't justify spending that money on my little Kiwi.

DRAT. I am so disappointed, over this silly little material object. It kind of makes me feel petty/selfish/childish...but I wanted it! [insert temper tantrum here] Now I don't know what to do. Any ideas?

Stained Glass and Pumpkin Progress

While we were staying with Dug's mom, Rhonda (or "Momda," as I like to call her), she was nice enough to teach us a little bit about her current hobby-of-choice: stained glass. You have to understand the level of niceness Momda showed us here: Dug and I, especially I, are clumsy and unfamiliar with the tools and materials, so there was a lot of equipment abuse and glass wasting while we were trying to get the hang of it - but Rhonda was completely patient with us even though I am sure there were moments where watching us blunder through this project was excruciating.

We somehow deleted the photos of the very beginning of the project, but you can see here that the design is sketched out on tracing paper, and we are cutting the pieces to fit and holding them in place with horseshoe nails. Each finished piece is wrapped in adhesive copper foil.
Dug made most of the color choices for our project. I love the amber glass. It's going to look so beautiful when we get it hung up in our window! When everything is assembled, you brush flux (which makes the solder bind with the copper) over the copper seams and solder over them. Dug did all of the soldering by himself. See what a fantastic job he did?

Somehow my Nuclear Pumpkin sweater doesn't seem as lovely in comparison with the stained glass, but I suppose I ought to give a progress report. I finished a sleeve and have a good close-up photo that is mostly color accurate:
The yarn is making a subtle striping effect. I really like it! I'm glad Dug has decided the colors are too "pretty" to be suitable for a tough, rugged, manly sweater. The blues are very "denim" - it's going to look great with jeans. Well, hopefully it will look great; I'm not a very professional pullover knitter yet, and I'm not using a pattern. I read "Knitting Without Tears" by Elizabeth Zimmerman, intending to use her seamless raglan guidelines, but when I actually started knitting I ended up taking the "cast on and knit until it looks like a sweater" approach. The photo below shows how I've started the body of the sweater, but the color is not quite right - picture pumpkin orange instead of brown.
I'm going to do a bit of shaping on the sides so I won't look like I'm wearing a potato sack. I'm fairly certain I'm going to screw up and have to reknit the body, but that's Standard Operating Procedure for me!

Alpaca Snugglefest

This week Dug and I are on vacation, going to visit his family in Illinois, and we decided to leave a day early and go exploring. WHY LOOK, we just stumbled upon this alpaca farm! (Okay, so we had to drive 17 miles out of our way down a gravel road through complicated twists and turns, so it may have been SLIGHTLY premeditated, but that's okay.)
Mid-Missouri Alpacas is a division of Binder's Hilltop Apple and Berry Farm, located in Mexico, MO. Dug and I picked our own apples, cuddled some alpacas and bought us some ho-made apple butter. And some alpaca roving. (Yes, Jennifer, I got you a present.)
HUG THEM ALPACAS! HUG THEM! Here I am hugging a five day old alpaca - and you can see by my expression that I am laughing that horrid cave-man laugh that comes out of me whenever I've regressed to three years old. Huuuuh huuuuh huuuuuh! Mommy alpaca was chatting away at me and sniffing her baby's butt. What a good mommy!

The best thing about this trip (well, after all the alpaca snuggling we did) was that when we walked in the door, Sandy Binder greeted us and we had the Where Are You From conversation in which I told her we had come to visit because I am a spinner, and she said, "OH, look at my SPINNING WHEEL!" and whipped the cover off her Majacraft Little Gem. "Why that's a Majacraft Little Gem!" I exclaimed. Then she said the magic words, "Would you like to try it?" I was in the chair before she finished the question. I have been reading and reading and reading about Majacraft wheels, because they are freaking cool, and almost passed out from happiness at finally getting to try one. I had a big scare when I couldn't make it go, but then she realized that it was set up for plying, not spinning, and once she fixed it I spun and spun! I think she'd have let me spin all day, or perhaps forever, working on her big project for her, but I mustered up enough willpower to make myself stop. I LOVE the Majacraft wheel. It was so smooth, so fast, so responsive. Dug is very lucky that she didn't have any for sale in the shop or we'd have been suddenly very poor and sleeping in the truck tonight instead of in this comfy hotel.

Speaking of which, I probably won't be spending any more of our vacation sitting around in hotels with free wifi, so I might as well make this a longer update and share some stuff I hadn't got around to yet. I finished my Hedgerow Socks by Jane Cochran:
These are very comfy, knit from Knitpicks "Gloss" sock yarn (I think the color is called "Cosmo") which is 70% wool and 30% silk, and crazy affordable. I don't know if it counts as a "designer" yarn, but it is purple and soft and I would buy it again. (But in a different color, because I already knit this one.)

Also, I want the book Folk Socks by Nancy Bush. Those of you who are Dug will note that at www.knitpicks.com it costs $7.00 less than everywhere else and that it is already in my shopping cart and my birthday is soon.

Also, a few days ago, Dug took this picture of my computer desk. It's sad, isn't it? The monitor isn't even ON, and everything is buried in knitting.
You'll see here that I've started swatching for the Nuclear Pumpkin sweater. Dug and I have discussed this at length and decided that, while the colors are not necessarily girly, they are not terribly masculine, either. So I get to keep the NP for myself (woo!) and have promised to make Dug a sweater in a more solid, neutral gray. I don't HAVE any solid, neutral gray yarn in sweater quantity, so that's something that will have to be remedied. Sounds like I've got another big handspinning project ahead of me!

C is for...Cthulhu?

Since we're on the topic of knitted novelties...ever have trouble finding appropriate gifts for the men in your life? Well, get your hands on a copy of Creepy Cute Crochet by Christen Haden and crochet them up a nice little amigurumi Cthulhu!

This little guy was my first attempt, in which I realized I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO CROCHET and was just making it up as I went. So his head is not quite round, and his little wings are ... odd, but it doesn't matter because I don't remember Lovecraft going on too much about the perfect roundness of Cthulhu's head. Not that I would, as I haven't actually read much H.P. Lovecraft, but I am very fond of him, personally. Two of you will remember once taking me with you on a Chinese-takeout-picnic atop his grave. I left a tasty piece of General Tso's chicken by his tombstone (because I didn't have a bottle of hooch to poor on the ground) and that cemented the friendship. (Actually, maybe I just DROPPED the piece of chicken, by accident. Actually, I'm not sure if I was the one who dropped it. Did anyone even drop a piece of chicken at all? Ahhh, memories!)
Also, I did a really crappy job joining Cthulhu's head to his body, so I decided that he looked cold and crocheted him a little scarf to cover it up.

Then I made this one out of leftover Blugly yarn. Doesn't he look menacing, even though he is only three inches tall and getting ready to scrub down the kitchen windows with his big bottle of Windex? "Rarrrgggghh! I am Cthulhu! I sit in the abyss and look scary! Snuggle me and despair!"

I'd say "I need a hobby," but that's how all this started.

C is for Cookie!

(C is also for Copyright Infringement, but not really, because this is not an exact replica of Cookie Monster. This is just a googly-eyed hat. Ahem.)


Googly-Eye Hat Recipe For Infants
Yarn: Worsted weight, in main color of your choice, white and contrast color for eyes.
Other materials: Poly fiber filling for the eyes.
Needles: Size 7 or 8 dpns, size 6 dpns for the eyes.

Start with a multiple of 8 stitches. (I used 64 sts knit loosely on size 7 dpns, sized for a very young little one. If you want to make one for yourself even though you are a grown-up, start with 88-96 stitches...or measure your head, check your gauge and size accordingly.)

Hemmed Edge:
(1) Cast on (64, 72, 80) or other multiple of 8 stitches in waste yarn.
(2) Using main color, knit 1 row and join to knit in the round. Knit 4 more rows.
(3) Purl 1 row.
(4) Knit 5 rows.
(5) Fold edge up with wrong sides facing each other, put first stitch of the edge on left needle, remove the waste yarn from this stitch, K2 tog. Repeat until all the stitches from the edge are knit together with the stitches on the needle.

Hat Body:
Knit until piece is 3-4 inches from edge, then begin decreasing as follows:
Row 1: Decrease every 7 stitches.
Row 2: Knit.
Row 3: Decrease every 6 stitches.
Row 4: Knit.
Row 5: Decrease every 5 stitches.
Row 6: Knit.
Row 7: Decrease every 4 stitches.
Row 8: Knit.
Row 9: Decrease every 3 stitches.
Row 10: Knit.
Row 11: Decrease every 2 stitches.
Row 12: Knit.
Row 13. Decrease around, cut yarn and sew through remaining stitches, weave in end.

Eyes:
(1) On size 6 dpn, cast on 3 stitches with black or other contrast color.
(2) Move stitches to right side of the needle, pull yarn tight and increase in each stitch, then divide 6 stitches evenly on 3 dpns to knit in the round. (If there is a little gap in the center of the eye, just sew it closed when you're done.)
(3) Increase every stitch. (There are now 4 stitches on each needle.)
(4) Knit around.
(5) Switch to white yarn, increase every 2 stitches. (There are now 6 stitches on each needle.)
(6) Knit around.
(7) Increase every 3 stitches. (There are now 8 stitches on each needle; if you want smaller eyes you can stop increasing here, knit 3 rounds and skip to step 13.)
(8) Knit around.
(9) Increase every 4 stitches. (There are are now 10 stitches on each needle.)
(10) Knit 3 rounds. (Or more, or less, depending on your desired eye volume.)
(11) Decrease every 4 stitches. (8 stitches on each needle.)
(12) Knit around.
(13) Decrease every 3 stitches. (6 stitches on each needle.)
(14) Cast off. (Or knit around one more time and do another round of decreases if you wish.)
(15) Stuff eye with Poly-fil and sew to hat.
(16) Repeat steps 1-15, unless you are making a cyclops. (Another cute idea might be to make the eyes different sizes, or change from contrast color to white on a different row, for an extra silly character hat.)

Mouth:
In black or other contrast color, sew on a mouth in the size and shape of your choice. (How do you like that for instructions? Mouth: Sew on a mouth. So helpful.)

Optional: I wanted to keep the eyes from flopping around (although eye-floppage may be highly desirable on some hats, so this is entirely optional), so I sewed them together about 1/3 of the way up. To make the eyes point in slightly different directions, I went one row up on the top of the right eye and darted it to the hat, and one row up on the underside of the left eye and darted it to the hat.

I don't have ADD, really! Probably.

It's just that I have all this stuff going on. Anyway, yesterday a friend of mine asked me to make a Cookie Monster hat for her little smunchkin, and sent me an example from Etsy featuring someone selling Cookie Monster and other Sesame Street themed hats, and this brought up a couple of interesting discussion topics:

1. Does this lady have permission from the Sesame Street people to make and sell stuff that is trademarked by them? (She might - who knows?) It was just interesting to me because I read an article recently about various knitters being stopped from doing just that by the television producers they were ripping off. They were ripping them off out of love (and several stories had a happy ending in which the producers thought the knitted rip-off items were so cute that they gave the knitters permission) but still - taking someone else's property without permission and selling it. Duh.

2. EEEEEEEEE! Cookie Monster is cute!!!

I didn't find a pattern anywhere (that was free and/or looked the way I wanted it to), and not wanting to rip this lady off by copying off her exactly (even though she's possibly ripping off Sesame Street), I bought some blue yarn and set about knitting in my favorite way - cast on and knit until it looks like a Cookie Monster. (If I was knitting something else, though, like a sock, I would knit until it looked like a sock, not a Cookie Monster.) I've cast on a few stitches to check gauge and encountered my first problem: I do not know how big a 6 month old child's head is, so how the #$#$ am I supposed to know if the size is right? I'm also doing a knitted hem (the one my friend showed me has a rolled edge, which is a little girly, and this hat is for a little boy) which brings me to my second problem: I do not know how the $#$# to knit a knitted hem. I haven't got very far on the hem yet, but I think I should have started it on smaller needles and then moved to larger needles when the hem is done; otherwise the hem threatens to be ridiculously bulky when folded. Probably tonight I'll start over. YAY, starting over!

Speaking of which, I have decided that I am going to start the Clementine Shawlette over. And I will probably make some modifications and just knit it all in one piece instead of knitting the two sides and grafting them together; I just have a horrible feeling that grafting with this particular yarn will be a nightmare. In which case it will no longer be a Clementine Shawlette, it will be something else entirely. Which is okay by me. I'm not picky. [snicker]

Rambling and Linkage

Despite my lack of spinning output these days, I've spent the past couple of weeks knitting like a madwoman. I started and FINISHED the Hedgerow Socks (here's a link for more information about these lovely socks, and I'll graft the toe and get pictures up later this week) using Knitpicks Gloss sock yarn, in under three weeks. I've started and blasted through 1/3 of a scarf in a beautiful Plymouth Tweed yarn that I couldn't stop myself from buying. (If you click that Plymouth Tweed link, it's the green yarn right there - obviously they chose that specific color to represent their line of tweed yarn because it is the best green yarn ever made.) Oh yeah, and I've started knitting a pair of socks for Duglifer, using my handspun Fine Gray Shetland wool (from Louet), in a pattern of my own devising. (Devising = a doodle on a sticky note.)

Sadly, I've temporarily abandoned my half-finished Clementine Shawlette. I have to confess that while knitting on it during a movie, I wasn't paying attention and put the right-side-purl-rows in the wrong order. Instead of having a nice little horizontal line of stitches every four rows to accentuate the angles of the chevron lace, the line falls every four rows for the first 15 inches of knitting and then it shows up again in 2 rows, then in 6 rows, then in 4 rows, then in 2 rows again...and it kind of looks like ASS. I'm pretty sure no one would notice, and since I'm very likely keeping the shawl for myself it doesn't REALLY matter, but it bothers me enough that I've wadded the project up and stuffed it on a shelf behind some books. If it were any other yarn, I'd just rip it back to before the point in the pattern where I apparently lost 50 IQ points, pick up the live stitches and knit on as if nothing had ever happened. But this is that unnaturally soft Faux Cashmere (nylon) that I spun and it is incredibly slippery. When I've accidentally dropped stitches, I've had to grab and hang on to them for dear life lest they unravel right out to the very beginning - which would not be the end of the world in plain stockinette stitch; I'd just latch the column of stitches back up with a crochet hook - but in this lacy pattern replete with yarn-overs and decreases, dropping a stitch would mean starting allllllll over again. No thanks! So ripping out and leaving the stitches live is just not possible. It has occurred to me, however, that I could run a "lifeline" (this is fancy knitters' jargon for "needle and thread") through the row that I want to rip back to, which would keep the stitches from going anywhere while I pick them up again. I think I'll try that this week, because I was really enjoying knitting that pattern and I don't want to scrap the shawl after I worked so hard on it...and I definitely don't want to just finish it wrong; the mark of a good knitter is not Making No Mistakes, but ripping out and reknitting and PRETENDING you've made no mistakes. I'll let you guys know how it goes! (Because I know you're all on the edge of your seats about my shawl.)

Actually...starting allllll over again might not be the worst thing ever. There were a couple of additional places early on in the shawl where I made barely discernible mistakes and left them as-is because of the slippery yarn, but those bother me, too. And they might actually SHOW, after the piece is blocked. Ripping the whole thing out and starting over might be worth it. I think I understand the pattern better now, so the piece would be better for it. Your thoughts?

Froot Loop Socks and Birthdays

One thing I accomplished in all the turmoil of the past month was Finally Finishing the Freaking Frootloop socks. I adored the pattern, and working with the luxurious Koigu yarn that Jennifer bought me.
I shoulda taken some more pictures of these - it's hard to see the pattern in this slightly blurry closeup. But you can see it here, in the pattern from the designer.

And now that they are, at last, complete, I am even more happy to turn them into a birthday present...although somewhat belated. (Happy Birthday, Windy. Love ya!)

Busy Busy Busy

I don't exactly have mad blogging skillz anymore, but stuff happens. I've promised to keep my blog lighthearted and free from preachy stuff, philosophical meandering, ranting about politics and bringing everyone down with personal horror stories. I'll hold to that promise, and just say this: To all my friends and family, try to stay healthy and ALIVE, please, because I love you all very much. Thank you.

In the meantime, dealing with all the disease and death and destruction and even the occasional fantastically good news (Guess whose mommy does not have cancer anymore? MY mommy! YAY!) I haven't had much time or motivation for spinning and knitting, which naturally can't be prioritized over sick friends and mommies. However, the occasional sock gets knitted in a waiting room here and there (more on that later) and I do have, belatedly, some spinning things to show off.

Finally, with some Louet brand Fine Gray Shetland wool I'd bought on that fabled trip to Yarn Barn, I learned Spinning From The Fold, and it was the best thing in the whole world. I sat down and spun half a pound of wool in one weekend. I could not stop. It was marvelous.

Dug was so amused by my obsession that he took the above photo of me spinning like a madwoman. See how I've got the wool folded over my index finger, so I'm feeding the wool into the twist from the center, or fold of the fiber, rather than the end? Easy! Fun!
Here's one of the resulting three skeins of wool. I ended up with about 500 yards of 2 ply sport weight. I'm told that I will be using this snuggly yarn to make socks for Dug.

Slightly More Progress

The Clementine Shawlette! (Almost half of it!)
Nuclear Pumpkin Yarn! 420 yards of it! (I probably need about 2,000 yards total, plus a little extra for swatching.)
The colors in the yarn are actually a little more, uh, NUCLEAR, but these photos are a pretty good approximation. The oranges are more vibrant in real life.

No Progress

This weekend I knitted and knitted and knitted and knitted without stopping, hellbent on finishing at least one project.

Goal #1: The Froot Loop Socks. Surely, I thought, if I knit the last sock for just four more hours, it will be done. I knit the sock all week during carpooling time. I knit it after work. I knit it during lunches. I knit it through a movie. I knitted the froot loop sock until I thought my arms were going to fall off. It is exactly the same size as it was at the beginning of the the week.

Goal #2: The Clementine Shawlette. I decided to add more length to the first half of it before starting and finishing the second half over the weekend - a good plan! Not so naive after the Froot Loop experience, I counted the repeats I had done so far - 11 - and decided it shouldn't take me more than 1/2 an hour to make it 16. So I knitted and knitted and knitted it. I knit through movies. I knit at bedtime. I knit during the day during spinning breaks. I knit on the bed, I knit on the couch, I may have knit on the toilet. Last night I counted my repeats again. 11. (And the second half has not, despite my best efforts, been started.)

Is it time for me to admit to myself that I am a SLOW knitter? Is there some reason that projects which would take a normal knitter a week to complete must take me months of nonstop knitting? Is this fair? I need to find out who assigns people their knitting speeds and ask for a recount, or something.

Halvsies

I haven't been great about taking and posting pictures of all my work this week, but that is because I have so many things in a deplorable state of Half Finished. I have half a pair of Froot Loop Socks knitted. I have half a Clementine Shawlette knitted. I have half of one Random Sock Of No Particular Pattern knitted. I have half of the singles spun up for the Nuclear Pumpkin sweater. All that work, but not much of anything to show for myself. Although, I'll end up finishing ALL of those things in one week and then I'll think I'm superwoman!

I also have a lot of yarn waiting patiently to be knitted, and with my spinning, the yarn pile grows bigger and bigger every week.

My plan of attack for this week is (and I'm making a list here more for my own organizational benefit than actually thinking all of you REALLY CARE how I'm going to get things done):

1. Photograph all the stuff I bought a few weeks ago at Yarn Barn when I went with Jennifer, and put it all up on the blog. I bragged about going right before we went, but never followed up with the results!
2. Finish the Froot Loop Socks during Car Pool Waiting Time.
   
3. Start a new pair of socks to knit during Car Pool Waiting Time, possibly with the dark purple KnitPicks Gloss yarn I accidentally bought while ordering needles for Blugly. (I need to find good, complex pattern for this project.)
   
4. Start on the 2nd half of the Clementine Shawl during Weekend Movie Time.
5. Knit the Random Sock Of No Particular Pattern during times when I can't really concentrate on counting and just need something mindless to keep my hands busy.
   
6. Learn a new spinning technique - Spinning From The Fold.
   

I think I shall put off really going nuts on the Nuclear Pumpkin stuff for now, because if I get any of it plied and skeined, I'll want to start knitting it right away and I have so much yarn to get through. I'm just going to keep plugging away at the singles. I did predraft a lot more of it this weekend. I'm guessing that I'm going to have a lot of NP fiber left over after this sweater. Yay!

Photo Mosaic Thingie

Here's a fun photo-mosaic thing to do!
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker.

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One word to describe you.
12. Your Flickr name.

I cheated a bit - when I typed my name in, I scrolled through several pages trying to find a picture that did NOT include Mariah Carey's boobings. They are everywhere. It was quite traumatic, really.

Encouragement

And now I'd like you all to take a look at JENNIFER'S NEW BLOG! Here's the link:

...

What? You say there's no link there? Hmmm. Let me examine the problem. AHA! There is no link there because Jennifer does not HAVE a new blog. Which is a tragedy, really, because even if it's only for the enjoyment of a few select people, it's the modern way to show-and-tell pictures and stories of your yarn and your kids and/or pets to your out-of-town friends. I bet James and Melia would love to see a blog from Jennifer. How about Jennifer's sisters? I bet they'd like to see pictures of little Bailey Boo and hear about Jennifer's knitting-and-spinning adventures. How about Cathy, and that one slutface girl? I bet they'd like to read a Jennifer blog.

My detective work reveals that the main obstacle to Jennifer's blog-starting is that she can't think of a new name for it. I understand - I picked a crappy, "top card" name for my blog because I didn't think I'd stick with it, and then the ol' center-of-attention thing kicked in and I can hardly leave it alone. So that gives us not one, but TWO contests:

1. Come up with a really good blog name for Jennifer. (Her blog will likely feature knitting and spinning, updates on her kid and, I would guess, various rants on the topic of Common Sense - see, we've peaked Maxim's interest already.)

2. Think of a much better name than I already have for MY blog. (This is not as urgent as a name for Jennifer's blog, though. It's all about Jennifer today.)

You can submit your suggestions in the comments or email me at Cry954@gmail.com. The winner(s) may name a non-secksyoouhl prize (unless Dug is the winner) of his or her choice, as long as I can afford it.

Off topic here, but I was talking to Dug in the car this morning, and I caught myself referring to a common, everyday thing as A-MAY-ZING. Ack! I can't believe I did that! I said "a-MAAAY-zing," you know, how GIRLS say that all the time, when they are uncreative and cannot come up with original, non-trite ways to describe things? Ugh! It was awful! It was like hearing someone else talking out of MY mouth. I feel sick. My vocabulary has already been partially infiltrated by "awesome"; there is no room for any more of this sort of thing. ("Thut's like ossUUUUUUUM.") Okay, I'm going to go read the thesaurus now. Geezis.

Next Up

For the past few days I've been working on various odds and ends, with the intention of using up stashed yarn and fiber, and the realization that there's not much point in spinning all this yarn if I'm not going to KNIT anything with it. After much consideration, I have decided that my green-and-white Faux Cashmere will become a version of the Clementine Shawlette from IK Spring 2007. Shawls and wraps and similar girly items are not usually My Thing, but I want the super soft fake cashmere to turn into something I can snuggle with. Then Dug pointed out that I could put this particular wrap around my shoulders when I'm sitting at my computer, which is right in the path of our window unit air conditioner - which means I can now attach the word "practical" to this project and forge ahead guiltlessly!

I've started it, but have no photos yet. I do have this picture of the one lily growing in my yard, and since it is traditional for knit-bloggers to dazzle everyone with pictures of gardening when they have no knitting to show off, that is what I will do:

It isn't all that dazzling if you know that this is the one and ONLY flower that has ever grown in my yard, ever, and that it is quite hidden in a large expanse of overgrown weeds. But since you don't know that, you can go ahead and be impressed with my gardening prowess. (Hey, I mowed the lawn once, when I was around 13 years old - that's gardening, right?)

Best Compliment Ever

"You would still be awesome if you were only make-believe."

FINISHED!

Blugly is finished! All I need is one 1" button. Here it is blocking. (Color is not really accurate in these photos - it's less green and more Makes-Your-Eyeballs-Bleed-Turquoise.) This was the first time I've ever properly blocked anything, and it was not the ordeal I was expecting - I just soaked it in the washing machine and ran it through the spin cycle, then pinned it to the board so that it would hold its shape as it dried. Easy!
Here I am wearing it over my jammies. In the background you can see my spinning wheel and my Mickie Dog lying on his blankie.
On the 357th try, I finally got the button band looking halfway decent.
And it actually fits me! JOY!

Check it, yo:

Carey's Yarn on Paradise Fibers! How cool is that?

In other fiber related news, Jennifer and I get out of work early today, and we are thinking of heading off to The Yarn Barn in Lawrence, KS. (Founded by the same Lawrence who founded YOUR home town, Zoetrope - I think this guy just meandered across the continent starting up Lawrences.) I have promised Dug that I won't buy anything until I am done spinning Nuclear Pumpkin, The Random Red Stuff, and the Gigantic Bag Of Wool I Haven't Even Dyed Yet. However, it would not be cost effective to make a trip out there, not buy anything, and then have to make a SECOND trip out there, what with the price of gas these days. So, if I purchase anything today, it will simply be out of consideration of our budget. (We have a budget?) Also, I intend to hold Jennifer to our plans buy promising to do the driving and pointing out that I owe her a PRESENT. I know she can't turn down a present from Yarn Barn! I wonder what she will choose!

I shoulda brought my camera with me today.

Elephant Jokes

Today I have a real treat for you - pictures of actual fiber! I haven't been showing off a lot of new projects for the past couple of weeks, because I've been working so diligently on this:
This is "Faux Cashmere" from ParadiseFibers.net. I dyed it myself with Country Classics dye, also from ParadiseFibers.net. It is very soft, very easy to spin, and little strands of it adhere to the inside of your nostrils like you wouldn't believe.
It is very beautiful and silky smooth. I have no freaking clue what I'm going to knit with it. Any suggestions? I'll have 3 skeins of 300 yards each. That's a lot but not enough, I suspect, for a short sleeved tee, which was my original hope. I even had the perfect pattern queued for it on Ravelry. Here's a conversation I have been having with my mom (whom you'll recognize in the comments as MickieMcDog) about it:
Mom: I think you really should knit a T-SHIRT with it.
Me: I had a pattern picked out that would have been perfect, but I don't think I'll end up with enough yarn for that.
Mom: I think you'd be happy with a T-SHIRT out of it.
Me: I don't think I'll end up with enough yarn for that.
Mom: You need to make a T-SHIRT with it. Wouldn't that be WONDERFUL?
Me: Yes, but I don't have enough yarn for that.
Mom: Ohhhhh, I think a TEEEEEEEE SHIRT.
Me: See, I have a lot of yarn, but it is only 900 yards, and fingering weight, so it would take me 3,000 years to knit it and then I'd run out of yarn.
Mom: [and so on]......

Dug told me I need to show the process of predrafting Nuclear Pumpkin, and I suppose he is right.
I have been taking strips of the roving, dividing them up lengthwise, trying desperately to spell "lengthwise" correctly as I type, spreading the fibers out and gently pulling on them to make the spinning process much faster and easier on my hands. When I dye fiber myself it does tend to felt together just a wee bit, so putting all this prep time in at the beginning really helps. It's all worth it, because look at the pretty colors! It is not simply my Madd Camera Skilz making the oranges and blues glow like that; "Nuclear Pumpkin" really is a fantastic name for it. I absolutely cannot wait to start spinning it! Sadly, patience is needed here. I have bobbins of Various Crap to complete so that I can free them up for this project (which will make the "epic" Blugly sweater seem like instant gratification), and tonight I am going to ply the last of the Faux Cashmere. (Oh, and work on knitting Blugly. Yeah, whatever.)

[missing segue alert] When I was about four years old, my mom gave me a book of Elephant Jokes. It was, and still is, my favorite book. I have carried the wisdom that I gleaned from its pages, at the tender age of four, with me throughout my life. So, I would like to end our post today with a gift of profound insight for you all:

One of these things is gray and weighs two tons. The other one is an elephant.